How Resilient Are You?

Resilience is defined as “the ability to bounce back quickly from difficult circumstances”.

Resilience is an important skill to build, because it gives you the strength and courage to manage crisis and stressful situations. Without it, you would find it difficult to handle challenges and bounce back from failures.

How can you become resilient?

This is the million-dollar question, and it all starts with your mindset. Too often, when something negative happens, your immediate reaction would also be negative. For example, if you lose your job, you may feel sad, angry or anxious, leading to feelings of low self-esteem and continuously thinking about why this is happening to you. Sounds familiar? Worry not, the good news is that everything happens for a reason, and sometimes that reason is simply to make you more resilient.

The first thing you need to accept is that life is full of ups and downs. The key is to view  the “downs” as opportunities to build resilience. Think about it this way: if everything went smoothly all the time, and then all of a sudden you are hit with a major crisis situation, you would be completely lost and would not know how to manage it; but if things don’t go smoothly all the time, you learn how to deal with the downs more effectively so that you become stronger and more resilient.

Secondly, you can overcome challenges and become more resilient by focusing your attention on what you can control instead of dwelling on things that you cannot control. Take the same example of losing your job; instead of wasting your efforts thinking about why it happened, focus on moving forward. You may find that it is an opportunity to find a better job, go back to school, start your own business, spend more time with your loved ones or take some time off for your own self-care. I have experienced job loss, and was very disheartened when it happened. However, while I was at home, I got the opportunity to focus full time on being a caregiver, which was very rewarding. Remember that you cannot change what already happened, but you can decide what you will do next.

Last but not the least, is to have a positive attitude. This is easier said than done, as you will often hear people say, “just look on the positive side”. It is not always easy to be positive about everything that happens, and it is okay to feel sad when something bad happens. I have learnt that the best way to be positive is to think about all the times you have faced challenges in the past and how you have overcome them. Remember that your past experiences have made you stronger and more resilient, so keep a positive mindset that whatever you are facing now will also pass and you will come out of it stronger and more resilient.

We all fall down at some point in our lives, and resilience enables us to get back up and keep going. If we let setbacks get to us, we will not be able to bounce back, and we may even end up losing our way.

Remember, as Nelson Mandela said, “Do not judge me by my success. Judge me by how many times I fell down and got back up again”.

Stay positive, focus on what you can control, look at challenges as opportunities and believe that you are resilient.

How do you build your resilience? Let me know in the comments below.