3 Facts Every Caregiver Must Remember

Caregiving is challenging, especially when you take on the Caregiver role out of no choice.

You do not know what to expect or what is expected from you. Sometimes we do not even realize that we are caregivers because we just go through the motions and tasks that we believe are a normal part of taking care of our loved ones. I have had this experience, where I dived into it, paying so much attention to my loved one’s care, that I totally put my own self-care on the back-burner. For a while it was not a big deal, but it wasn’t long before I realized that I was burning out and did not know how to manage it.

Over the years, I have learnt a lot about caregiving, and I wish I had known these 3 facts earlier. Nevertheless, better late than never. Here’s my suggestion – write down these 3 facts and stick them on your fridge. Put them on your nightstand, so you see them every morning when you wake up. Share them with other caregivers, and on social media so other caregivers can benefit as well.

Fact #1: You Did Not Cause the Illness

Whether you are taking care of a sick child with the flu, or your parent with a chronic illness, the simple truth is that YOU did not cause the illness. This is an obvious fact, but we often forget, and then we start having feelings of guilt, anger and a sense of loss. The important thing is to accept the illness, acknowledge your feelings, and find a way to express them.

Fact #2: You Cannot Cure the Illness

When our loved ones are sick, our first instinct is to want to fix the sickness immediately, because we just want them to get well fast. This is great. However, sometimes the issues are complex, or they are not curable. At times you have to rely on other people so the treatment process is slow and frustrating. During these times, rather than dwelling on the frustration, focus your attention on your loved one. Reassure them, make them feel comfortable, do something that they enjoy, like going for a walk, watching a movie they like, take them shopping or to their favorite restaurant. It is often the simple things that will make both you and your loved one feel good and happy.

Fact #3: You Can Cope with the Illness

This is something that you CAN do! In fact, the only control you have is how you cope with the illness, so focus on this fact the most. There are many different ways you can cope. For example, by educating yourself about your loved one’s illness or disability, you can learn what to expect, what you can prepare for, and find resources to help you. Another way to cope is by taking care of your own wellbeing, because by taking care of yourself, you can be a better caregiver to your loved one.

Here is my coping strategy: Acknowledge, Accept, Manage.

There is no single coping method that will work for everyone, as all situations are different. Most important is to remember that you did not cause the illness, you cannot cure the illness, but you can cope with the illness.

How do you cope with your loved one’s illness or disability? Share in the comments section below!